Funny I will never apologize for being the life of the party. Translation: I got drunk and made a fool of myself! #party#hangover#drunk
Funny Daughter: I'm 5 years old, that means I get 5 cookies! Me: LOL, that's not how it works (as I grab 39 cookies for myself) #kids#cookies#food
Funny You just cleared the end of your driveway? So sorry, here's 2 more feet of snow! #snow#plow#driveway
Funny I can't believe you didn't accomplish anything today! That's not true. I popped a whole roll of bubble wrap! #people#bubblewrap#argument
Funny When your Dr. says I'm going to check your prostate. Just relax. Is anyone actually able to just relax? #doctors#checkups#rubbergloves
Funny As a dad, the law requires me to scream Good Morning Vietnam! when waking up the kids. #movies#dad#robinwilliams
Funny My Doctor told me to cut down on sodium and add more vitamin C to my diet. So now I drink tequila with extra lime and no salt. #tequila#salt#lime
Funny Dad, why can't I go to college? Well son, remember all those Fortnite V-Bucks you had to have? #fortnite#college#vbucks
Funny Why is dinner the only meal that gets dessert? I will no longer tolerate such inequality! #food#diet#dessert
