Funny Can anyone help me access a nursing home? I need to take a picture of a senior holding a sign to see how many 'Likes' they can get. Someone in a wheelchair or military hat preferred! #socialmedia#seniors#sarcasm#military
Funny A man loses 30 pounds and will talk about it for 5 seconds. A woman loses 5 pounds and will talk about it for 30 minutes! #diet#men#women
Funny How do self-cleaning ovens work? They just get hot, there are no scrubbers that come out or anything. Aren't they cleaning themselves every time you use them? #cleaning#ovens#kitchen
Funny No food tastes as good as being thin feels. Except Pizza. And Fries. And every single Breakfast food. #food#diet#pizza
Funny I was thinking KFC for lunch, but then I thought about how they treat their chickens... with 11 delicious herbs and spices! Sold! #kfc#lunch#diet#food
Funny As you get older, you start celebrating life's minor victories, like getting everything from the sink to fit in the dishwasher. #dishes#older#wisdom
Funny Although accurately named, sales of the 'Shin Basher' were slow until marketing got involved and renamed it 'Coffee Table.' #coffeetable#pain#toestoo
Funny Exit polls are currently showing 100% of people leaving the voting location. #primaryday#election#vote
Funny Why do they call them Restrooms? Have you heard the noises coming out of that place? Those people are doing anything but resting! #restrooms#pottyhumor
