Funny The most accurate horoscope is the one that says you're wasting your time. #horoscope#scam#time
Funny The world may long forget what was heard here, but they'll never forget what was smelled here! #pottyhumor#bathroom#justbad
Funny If only my Fitbit knew; all of the steps it's counting today are me going back-and-forth to the fridge. #diet#food#fitbit#execise
Funny They say that sitting extended periods can be hazardous to your health, so I finally broke down and ordered that desk that coverts to a bed. #work#sitting#office#desk
Funny I didn't eat TOO bad while on vacation... and I did a LOT of walking... and (steps on scale) ... oh boy! #diet#vacation#food
Funny Seen here is the rare 'Longpecker Swallow.' Even more rare after you are married. #birds#marriedlife
Funny I completed a 5K this morning. Two Deluxe Breakfasts and 4 Egg Muffin Sandwiches are about 5,000 calories, right? #fastfood#food#diet#run
Funny Why on earth would they put egg whites in a nearly identical container as the creamer, that was the worst cup of coffee ever! #coffee#food#diet#eggs
Funny LifeHack: If you get pulled over, kindly remind the cop that your taxes pay their salary. Let them know you support the law enforcement community! #lifehack#cops#taxes
